Not My Shame, Impact Statement Part 2

***Trigger Warning*** I am going to be authentic at this moment and tell you that it is scary posting the second part of my victim impact statement. I am definitely experiencing some anxiety just thinking about pressing "publish." That feeling of shame resurfaced as I read back over the words I typed months ago. I... Continue Reading →

Impact Statement Part 1

Today I am sharing the first paragraph of my victim impact statement. I wrote it about 7 months ago prior to the date my abuser would be eligible to petition for removal from the sex offender registry. I struggled the most with settling on the first sentence. Here are a few of the questions I... Continue Reading →

Finding the Words

“You will have the opportunity to make a victim statement if you would like,” the Assistant District Attorney informed me. After my abuser was read the terms of his plea bargain, the judge asked if there was anything else the prosecutor’s side wanted to say. The ADA turned to me to confirm before responding to... Continue Reading →

Disrupting Routines

In previous posts, I have described abusers as master manipulators and explained how they employ a variety of predatory actions to harm their victims. In this post, I am going to focus on how some abusers seek routine activities to gain access to a child repeatedly and how parents can be on the lookout for... Continue Reading →

When What You Remember Isn’t Enough

Throughout the court process, my case was always referred to as a “he said, she said” case because there was no physical evidence to corroborate my disclosure. Hearing those words always stung. During some of the initial interviews, I was asked questions such as “when did the abuse begin?” A bulk of the investigation took... Continue Reading →

The Power in Truth

In my last post I discussed how abusers are master manipulators. Initially, abusers may use threats of violence or death to the victim or a loved one; however, they eventually incorporate attacks on the child’s belief system regarding “right” and “wrong.” They normalize the abusive behavior so the child no longer questions the acts the... Continue Reading →

Master Manipulator

**Trigger Warning** For many years Sunday nights have met me with a strong sense of impending doom.  Most of the time I am able to brush the feelings off to the side and talk myself into a more positive state. It took me a while of wondering why I would feel this way every Sunday... Continue Reading →

Deal or No Deal

One of the hardest and lengthiest parts of the healing process has been coming to peace with the decision to accept the plea deal the defense lawyer and prosecutor agreed upon instead of taking the case to trial. Any time I think back to the year and a half or so working with the court... Continue Reading →

Breaking the Rule

I’ve been quiet the last few weeks. I did not even log into my blog site. I had so much motivation and excitement in creating my blog- picking out the design layout, background, font style and color, title, images, and url. I spent hours creating the law page and my first few posts. It seemed... Continue Reading →

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