Today I am sharing the first paragraph of my victim impact statement. I wrote it about 7 months ago prior to the date my abuser would be eligible to petition for removal from the sex offender registry. I struggled the most with settling on the first sentence.
Here are a few of the questions I had in regards to writing my statement:
Am I allowed to use my abuser’s name and his relation to me?
Am I allowed to say what he did to me? Or is that too much detail?
Will the judge think I’m lying if I say that I am “thriving” now?
Do I address the judge professionally by starting my statement with “your honor”?
There were so many impacts of the abuse; how many do I list?
These may seem like trivial questions, but my concern with writing the statement “correctly,” was overwhelming.
When I began writing my statement, it helped me to imagine that I was bravely standing in the court room facing my abuser and pleading to the judge my cause. I found several helpful websites where some of my questions were answered. However, I have to give a huge shout-out to the North Carolina Conference of District Attorneys for their assistance and compassion in answering my many questions. Two of their employees read proofs of my statement and gave me pointers. They answered questions and encouraged me along the way. They took the time to explain what the petitioning process would be like if my abuser filed and a court date was scheduled.
Here is how my statement begins:
Today, when I entered this court room, I did not come in as a victim like I did ten years ago. Today, I am standing here as a survivor. However, being a survivor does not mean that I am freed from the effects of long term sexual abuse at the hands of XXXX, my former XXXXXX, my abuser. Rather, being a survivor means that through the flashbacks, depression, anxiety, guilt, and shame, I will choose to keep living, thriving, and healing. That August night I watched “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” with my then XXXXXX forever changed my life.
Below you will find a list of websites that helped me as I was seeking guidance in writing my statement. These websites are guides for writing initial statements that would be heard in the court prior to the resolution of a case. The statement that I have prepared is somewhat different because my case has been closed. My statement will be heard if my abuser decides to petition for removal from the sex offender registry which would be a new court “case.”
If you are writing your impact statement and feel stuck, do not be afraid to reach out for assistance. You do not have to do this alone.